


First things first

by Lyrene, my_sweet_jinmin



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Brotzly - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 04:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9419192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyrene/pseuds/Lyrene, https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_sweet_jinmin/pseuds/my_sweet_jinmin
Summary: The bathroom door slammed, cutting through the madness of Todd's screaming thoughts.  Dirk rushed to Todd with a horrified shriek."No!", screamed Todd desperately as panic frenzied in his eyes, "Don't come any closer! You'll... You'll catch it too!""Todd, what in the...""Stop! You can't help me! Please just find Amanda! Save her, she’s in danger!” He groaned from the intense pain burning through to his soul as he slowly unfolded his near crippled fingers to see the damage on his hand.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [First things first](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/258254) by Lyrene. 



> Thanks to my kind and talented co-author My_sweet_jinmin who helped me to translate this story from my native russian to english, and did it so wonderful, making the all story more beautiful and expressive. Hope you will enjoy it.

Drying his hands with a paper towel, Todd looked in the mirror above the bathroom sink. He made a face as he told the exasperated man in his reflection: “It’s always like this, Todd, you always ruin things, and then try to fix them, but you can't fix it. You can't fix anything, Todd.” It’s a miracle that he was able to salvage his relationship with Dirk. Before seeing Dirk, Todd was certain that he would be left behind. His thoughts had forged images of Dirk not wanting speak to him at all at the hospital. Images of how Dirk would take his jacket and walk away with his bouncing, quick steps, yet without his smile and without looking back. Todd wouldn't have been surprised by that.

But Dirk.. Oh god, how happy he was, his eyes were still bright and his grin was still lighting up the world. No one’s ever been that happy to see Todd or be with him. The memory brings a smile to Todds lips, as does the thought of how only a few minutes ago he was laughing with Farah and...with _Dirk_. 

Suddenly, the phone rings, the sharp bleeps snapping Todd out of his daze. Todd hastily fumbled in his pocket to grab the device and pulled the phone out - Amanda was calling. Seeing her name on his screen brings a warm hope into his heart. First he was able to be forgiven by Dirk, and now for the first time since confessing his lies to his sister, she's calling him. Maybe he really can fix things after all!

"Amanda?"  
"Todd, Todd!" The fear in Amanda’s voice as she called his name crushed Todd's hope. Something is horribly wrong. "Oh, my God! They're coming! It's really bad!" She screams again, causing Todd’s stomach to twist with worry  
"What? What's happening? Who's coming?" From somewhere deep inside of him rose the urge to run to Amanda, to fight for her, to protect her. To save his sister no matter what  
"Todd, listen to me. You have to listen!”

"Wait. Stay where you are. I'll find you. You're gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine!" As he spoke, a sudden sharp and sizzling pain burned through his hand, causing him to drop the phone as his sister’s panicked shouts reverberated through the receiver. Todd’s breath quickened in raw fear as he lifted his hand to his face and saw how the skin was darkening and decaying, stripping away his now inflamed flesh. His thoughts raced, and screamed inside of his head. They screamed that he was going to die, that his body would be consumed by sores and burnt away until there was nothing left of him. His knees weakened, and he fell in a crumpled heap onto the tiled ground as the awful, searing pain rapidly tore through every inch of his arms and up to his shoulders. 

_It’s so unfair! How could I die like **this?**_

The bathroom door slammed, cutting through the madness of Todd's screaming thoughts. Dirk rushed to Todd with a horrified shriek.  
"No!", screamed Todd _desperately_ as panic frenzied in his eyes, "Don't come any closer! You'll... You'll catch it too!"  
"Todd, what in the..."  
"Stop! You can't help me! Please just find Amanda! Save her, she’s in danger!” He groaned from the intense pain burning through to his soul as he slowly unfolded his near crippled fingers to see the damage on his hand. Almost all of the skin on his palm was entirely decayed and peeling away.

Dirk grabbed Todd's hand with shaking fingers. Todd cried.  
"Todd, your hands are alright! You're fine, Todd! Is... Is this... are you having... a… pararibullitis attack?" Dirk asked, his voice trembling with worry and fear. 

"No! Not I'm… I’m not! You don't understand, I, _no_! I'm dying Dirk!" 

"Oh my lord, Todd! Yes this is! It’s an attack", Dirk hastily grabbed Todd under his arms and began to lift him up with a harsh jerk. In his panic, Dirk had forgotten about his wounded shoulder and let out a pained gasp when he was unpleasantly reminded. Regardless of himself, Dirk shifted to lean Todd's quivering body against the filthy bathroom wall. Dirk’s heart broke when the movement caused Todd to wince. 

"Dirk, my skin is _decaying_ , I'm burning, I'm dying. Dirk, I’m bleeding!” Todd cut himself suddenly with a groan of pain, “It's real! It’s really happening!" 

"It is not happening! It's just an attack, you saw Amanda’s! Her’s were the same. It's just a mistake of your brain, a delusion. Please focus on reality! Try to control it! Please, this is just a hallucination!" 

Todd tried hard to focus on Dirk's words - focus on each syllable leaving his lips. He tried to convince himself that everything was simply his imagination, but it all seemed so damn _real_! He felt the way his sneakers’ rough fabric started to grate against on his cracking, blistering feet, and how blood little by little began to seep into his shoes. He felt the burning that had consumed his entire arms and down his back. It had to be real. No pain like _this_ could be imagined. He groaned as tears streamed down his bleeding cheeks in torrents from his suffering. 

"Please, Dirk just go away! Go find Amanda, tell her!.."  
"No, I won't! I apologize in advance for this” Dirks tone was almost as sharp as the slap across Todd's face that instantly followed his words. Todd flinched and went to scream from the rippling sting that tore over the sores on his face. But in that exact moment, Dirk’s lips were pressed to his, a tongue entered his mouth and silenced him.Todd tried to push Dirk away, but Dirk caught Todd's wrists and pressed them against the wall with strength Todd didn't know he had. He pressed Todd against the drywall as the kiss escalated more with each passing second. This all was so shocking. So stunning. So _unreal_. Slowly, almost hesitantly Todd tilted his head to kiss Dirk easier, and deeper even. As soon as Todd complied fully, Dirk slid his hands from Todd's wrists down to his shoulders, before finally pulling away. 

"Gone?", asked Dirk in a whisper, breaking through the thick blanket of silence that settled over them.  
"I...yeah, I think so", surprisingly Todd discovered that he felt no more pain, only a strange cold tingling sensation remained on his skin. Taking a gulp of air, he peered down at his hands to discover that all the sores had vanished. 

Dirks lips spread in a bright grin before he stood up and extended a hand out to Todd.  
Todd pulled himself to his feet with the leverage from Dirks surprisingly soft hand. With a shaky exhale, Todd leaned his back against the wall behind him, not quite ready to stand completely independently yet. Especially not after that _kiss_. Dirk doesn’t need to know that's part of why his legs are trembling, though. Meanwhile, worried eyes watched Todd's every little movement tentatively. Dirks worry bled through onto his voice when he spoke. 

"You see, Todd, having a pararibullitis attack is like…. a program error! You can stop it with special drugs to alter the the brain biochemistry, or like _the motherboard_. Or you can reboot your brain as you push "reset" on computer - when you introduce some very real and powerful stimuli. Like... a slap, or... even a kiss! Sorry about the slap, by the way.” 

Todds brows furrow in gond annoyance, which pulls Dirks lips into a smile "And for kissing me?" He prompts. 

"Should I apologize for that as well?", Dirk raised eyebrow, hiding a smug little smile. 

"No,” sighs Todd, rolling his eyes despite the fondness dripping through his tone involuntarily, "you shouldn't, Dirk." 

"Moving on! I think it will be helpful for you", Dirk stated with a clap of his hands, "that now you know you can control an attack. I'm sorry that you've got pararibullitis, but I _know_ you're strong enough to fight it!” 

"I'm not so sure, Dirk... could you maybe, uh... help me? Like you did before? Just... uh, just in case." 

Dirks expression morphed suddenly into something almost grim, almost _afraid_.  
"I really would love to be with you always! Really, I'd love to help you all the time! But...the universe can be cruel. It might take you from me...life is unpredictable, you know. Things happen the way they're supposed to happen. If we’re supposed to stay together, we will! But...if not….then..” Dirk trailed off, his posture sinking into itself as his expression grew heavier with dread. Then, suddenly, all traces of anything remotely remorseful vanishes into thin air, and Dirk pops up like a Jack-In-Box, his eyes bright once again. Almost as if he was pretending nothing happened at all.  
"I'm going to speak to Farah, she seems the type to be know how to track Amanda's phone! Come on out when you're ready!" Urgent, he then turned on his heel and bounced away. 

Todd sighed as he shifted sluggishly to look at his unharmed, _non-blistered_ face in the shitty bathroom mirror, just to check. With another thick, weighted sigh he splashed water on his cheeks, focused for probably too long on how it didn't burn, focused not long enough on how his heart _did_. Then, he dried his face off with a paper towel, grabbed his cracked phone off of the floor and finally walked out of the bathroom. 

Todd didn't really know what he expected to see when he came back to the table, possibly Dirk rambling about ridiculous ploys or even Farah freaking out over how _calm_ Dirk seems about all this. There were a lot of possibilities, honestly. But, them not being there at _all_ certainly was not one of them.


End file.
